Sunday, October 23, 2011

The things you learn at Grandma's

This week's lesson is Biology 101. Our conversation at dinner tonight:
Me: Jackson, you really need to focus and eat your dinner
Jackson: Why?
Me: Because food makes our bodies healthy. We need to eat for our bodies to work.
Jackson: Our food goes in our tummies?
Me: Yes, it goes to our tummies.
Jackson: I put it in my mouth to get to my tummy.
Me: Yes.
Jackson: It goes through the big hole in the back {and proceeds to stick his finger as far down his throat as he can before I quickly intervene. Which, by the way I have determined that curiousity is what caused the I-can-make-myself-vomit-if-I-stick-my-finger-far-enough-down-my-throat revelation that occurred this week. No joke}.Me: Yes, it is back there. But you can't stick your finger back there.
Jackson: It goes down like a sli-i-i-i-ide!!!
Me: {humored} why yes, it does.
Jackson: And then it goes into my tummy. {takes bite to demonstrate}
Me: Mmhhmm
Jackson: And then it goes from my tummy to poop that comes out my bottom.
Me: {Quick glance to Derek. Work hard to not bust out laughing. Gain composure} Well, yes, I guess you are right.
Jackson: Yeah, it comes out of my bottom.
Me: Where did you learn this stuff? Who taught you this stuff?
Jackson: With Grandma... Grandma Linda!

At this point, we just laugh. You never know what this kid is going to say next. We did verify with Grandma Linda {but seriously, how could he just make that up} and she did say that they had that conversation once awhile back. What made him bring it up today? How did he remember it all from that long ago? No idea. At least he got the information right and didn't come up with something crazy absurd. And to be honest, it's nice that I don't have to explain where poop comes from-- because I am sure that's a question that Jackson could/would come up with!

Next on the agenda is Appropriate Dinner Topics. Soon to be addressed is How to Greet New Friends {this is after we met some people at lunch last week and his opening line was "God gave me a penis. Did he give you one?}. A friend once told me that Jackson needed his own reality tv show. If I didn't fear the Gosselin-family-outcome, I might even consider it. I seriously couldn't make this stuff up!


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