Friday, September 21, 2012

Sometimes I'm a crappy mom

First, I have to apologize to the members of my family who consider the word crap as a swear word. Maybe the use of the word only reinforces the statement, "Yes, sometimes I'm a crappy mom."

This post is a little bit different from my usual. I don't normally get involved in petty internet drama. I like to use my space for fun, positive family moments with an occasional soapbox post. This post falls in the latter category.

There is a popular movement amongst moms (and just people in general) to be so judgmental towards others. I suppose this tendency isn't new, by any means. Let's take a look for example about two women on the campaign trail with their presidential candidate husbands. Back in the 90s when Clinton was first campaigning, Hillary was criticized for working too hard not and being a stay-at-home-mom. Fast forward to 2012 and here Ann Romney is criticized for "not working" to be a stay-at-home-mom. Both of these women have been/are claimed to be out of touch with a majority of the women population in our country. What is it with some women that they need to cut down and criticize other women all the time?! And then, thanks to the internet these days-- it's so easy for individuals to say mean and hateful things to people in anonymity and to criticize everything from food choices to discipline styles.

Here on my blog, I strive to be open and honest-- I won't hide behind an anonymus comment to say what I what to say.

First, some back story. This photo stirred up drama and criticism the other day when a fellow blogger posted it on facebook because some moms {and other care-givers} seem to think that their way of parenting is the ONLY way to be a good mother. The conversation has since been deleted, but all you really need to know is that it got kind of ugly {and how this photo stirred up controversy is beyond me--- the whole point is to celebrate the different types of mothering, but whatevs}

The above photo does instill a bit of confidence in me. Just like these moms who all do parenting differently, I too, AM a good mom. 

But you know, I can also sit here and say, also in confidence, that sometimes I'm a crappy mom too. 

Sometimes, I let my kids watch too much tv.  I don't buy organic and my kids aren't gluten-free. Sometimes, I look forward to going to school to get a break. I don't wash their sheets every week and there are some weeks that they only get one bath. Sometimes, I cave in because it's easier than discipline. I let Belle go to bed with a sippy cup of milk and I don't always brush teeth at nighttime. Sometimes, I lose my patience and I yell for no reason. 

The truth is, is that there are some times when I'm just not a good mommy. But I know that I am a good enough mommy and that all of my inadequacies are covered under the good grace of God. 
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.                         2 Corinthians 12: 9

"My Grace is sufficient for you, Amy. Even when you'll experience those times of post-partum depression and you'll cry consistently for two weeks. YOU are his Mommy and you'll both make it through.  My grace is sufficient in all your inadequacies; I am there to fill in the gaps. My power is made perfect in your weakness, Amy. On those days when Derek was gone on active duty, I gave you that strength to comfort your son who didn't understand. You all made it! My power is strong enough to protect your children even when you cannot. For I love your babies even more than you can even fathom. My grace and My power are all you will ever need on this journey of motherhood."

By God's grace am I the mommy that I am! It's through Him that have learned about unconditional love and his plan for my life! Through Him I have learned how I should love my husband and how to parent. Through Him do I have any ounce of patience to even begin with. Through him I find my purpose and satisfaction in being a mom!

By God's grace-- my kids are alive and safe with me now. I once drove 30  minutes home to realize that Jackson was in his baby carrier, but NOT BUCKLED! I have left Belle unattended in the bath tub for a short minute and even sitting on the counter when I step out of the kitchen. My son walked around the block, on the street, ALONE when he was 2 years old. I could go on and on. There are times when I outright failed, but by God's sufficient grace I am still blessed to be parenting my great kids.

When I was a brand new mommy, feeling overwhelmed and insecure, my pastor's wife said to me, "Amy, God chose YOU to be Jackson's Mommy. You are exactly the Mom that He wants Jackson to have." Never have more encouraging words been spoken to me about motherhood.

I am not a perfect mom and I don't do everything right. There are times that I genuinely fill that I'm not qualified for this job and there are times that those feelings get me down. But fortunately, I know my God continues to do a good work despite of my imperfections. My confidence lies in the Lord. I am doing my best and through His grace, it's good enough.

Every good thing I have ever done for my children has been though God's grace and power. I hope that you rest in that hope and peace, too. If don't already, you certainly can!

Even though sometimes I'm a crappy mom, I know that I am THE PERFECT MOM for my kids.



  1. This was wonderful to read! Thank u for posting this!

  2. Okay, I have tears running down my face right now, because this is the EXACT post I needed for today . . . for this week! All week I've been feeling like a crappy mom, wondering what I'm doing wrong. I desperately needed this encouragement. Thank you so so much!

    1. I am so, so glad I could be an encouragement to you!! I'm confident that you are a GREAT mom. :)

    2. So, I just have to tell you that the encouragement from this very blog post helped me get through a "crappy mom" incident a couple days ago. I'll be posting about it soon. I think God had me read your post before this incident occurred, so that I could remain strong and encouraged through it.

  3. I love you and your soapbox as well friend! It absolutely blows my mind to think that picture could stir any kind of controversy at all. What has this world come to?!? The thing is - NO mom is perfect. No woman is perfect! Or man for that matter! We are all a little crappy sometimes, but that doesn't mean any of us isn't doing the best they can. I happen to think you are a pretty incredible crappy mom my dear! ;)

  4. This is a lovely post and I love what your pastor said to you - I find that comforting as well. I have done so many of the things you mention (not buckling in my kids in their car seat - many times; leaving my child unattended in the bath for a minute, etc...I could go on and on). The bottom line is that we love our children, we do what we think is best for them, we're not perfect, and NOBODY knows what's best for my children - only me (that's why I'M the MOM). Hugs xox


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