Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Choosing Joy

Despite having a million things I've been wanting to blog about lately, I haven't really been able to make it happen. My heart and mind have been so preoccupied with the events of last Friday and so I feel I should address it, but at the same time, I don't really have anything to say, or anything new at least. It's all anyone can talk about; it's all been said. But this has weighed so heavy on my heart, I don't feel I should blog about anything until I address it.

My heart was broken into a million tiny pieces. Honestly, I kept waiting for the headlines to change. But it didn't. I don't understand. No one does. The slaughter of children, the intentional slaughter. This is beyond thinkable. Evil, pure evil. 

The best thing I've done for myself it to keep the TV off. I haven't read news reports since the initial headlines came out. I don't need to know details-- method of entry, the thoughts of the children as they waited in terror, number of guns shots, guns used, dates and times of funerals. Honestly, I don't think any of the public needs to know. But, it sells. Unfortunately, stories like this are profitable. I chose to give the true victims their space; to respect their grieving. I chose to spend my time focusing on the things I have control over in my life-- to hug my children, to teach them to love others, to do my part in making the world a better and safer place. I can't allow myself to get sucked into this story that it takes away from living the life I still have to live. Worry and fear will defeat me. Evil cannot win.

Evil doesn't win. 

The first person ever born on this earth was the first murderer. And ever since that time, evil has infiltrated our world flooding our history books with stories of death and destruction. Evil still doesn't win. God defeated Satan before our life even began. The only battle left is the one in which Satan is trying to follow him. There is a hope in Christ. All things good, all things pure, all things holy come from Christ. I find my peace in knowing this is not my home. My home is in Heaven with Christ Jesus along with all other believers. 

This promise of victory doesn't take the hurt away from the dozens of families missing their loved ones from this senseless act or any other difficult situation. But it offers a hope in this world of hurt, and a peace to the people who ask. 

It seems frivolous to continue to blog about silly little things like my kids eating their pizza weird and showcasing their latest pieces of artwork. But, I won't stop. I want my blog space to be a happy place. I enjoy documenting the journey of our family. And I won't deny that all parenting moments are perfect, but even in those moments, there is still joy to be found {somewhere... even it it's really deep!!!}. Sharing these stories and photos brings joy to me and it brings joy to my family, who constantly remind me that they enjoy reading the lastest posts. And I love the 'online' friendships I've made in the process, even though I feel kind of like a loser just saying that. {I have friends in real life too!!}.

To fully live life is to enjoy the little moments and that's what I'll continue to do. For me right now, that means getting so excited for my kids when they see a firetruck in the parking lot at the grocery store that I drive away leaving my food in the cart, still in middle of the parking lot! I chose joy and I hope that you do too!

Regular programming will commence shortly. :)


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